dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
