I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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