I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
