I heard we made out
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
