AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
