I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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