Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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