I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
