This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize