So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
