Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
