when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize