just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
