I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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