I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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