Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
