is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This baby is an asshole
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
