did you get engaged???
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
