He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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