I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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