you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
