Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
