is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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