ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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