Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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