I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
