i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
