actually, I'm a sock model
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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