The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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