Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
