Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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