Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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