also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
