Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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