So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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