PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
