He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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