he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
