people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
