Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
