I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
