my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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