singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
