The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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