Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
