dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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