you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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