I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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