Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
