She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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