Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
