you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
