Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
