Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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