he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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