you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
