Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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