I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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