glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
