she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
