Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
