I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
